[00:00:00] Hello? Hello, hello, hello. I am so glad you are here for another episode with me. It was hard to do the recording. It was scheduled for today. Um, usually when I'm low energy, I don't. I don't record, I don't wanna do anything. Right? I mean, do you wanna do anything when you're low energy? I mean, not at all.

It's part of the reason why we work for ourselves so we can change our schedule. But, um, today, for one, it really needed to get done today. Um, . And for another, it just, it dawned on me I'm low energy and it would be something that would be really good to talk with you about. Um, because there's days here, low energy, right?

So it's almost like I'm having my own coaching session in [00:01:00] my head, . I guess that's almost every podcast episode, isn't it? , but I just thought I'd bring it to you and, and see if any of the bullshit flowing through and how I'm working through it will, uh, possibly assist you. Dunno, if you've, if you've been on my list, you know that I have been talking for, you know, a, a quite a bit in the last week or so.

Um, the bullshit other people are telling us, whether it is people in our lives or other coaches. And, uh, I think I went a little too deep into it because now all of the sudden I'm like, oh, I remember when this person said this. And, oh, I, I think I, I think that I ended up. Back into old feelings. And that's super [00:02:00] easy to do because right now, uh, there's, there's a lot of great things going on and there's a lot of transitions happening, and I'm aware that there's even more transitions that are going to be happening in decisions that are gonna be made.

And it's not so much the decisions because every decision that I have in front of me, Is amazing and going to be good times and fun and just, shit's just gonna blow up and it's awesome, but it means that I'm going to have to let some stuff go that, you know, previously I was passionate about. Um, and, and I, and I do know, I mean, gosh, what's, uh, today, Tuesday, the 31st is when this episode's airing.

I. Quite literally four days for my 50th birthday. In fact, tomorrow I'm [00:03:00] leaving on jet plane, um, and . So all of this is just like all really super hyper condensed, right? It's, it's just an intense time. Totally . It's, it's just an absolute intense time, uh, for so many personal and business reasons. I'm hitting my 50th birthday.

Um, we're not gonna go into birthday thing here, but this will be the sixth anniversary of my father's death. Uh, my father-in-law's death, um, yep, he died on my birthday. Uh, this is the five year anniversary of me deciding. that my birthday matters to me and I will make my birthday special. Um, like I said, that's a whole nother, in fact, I have another, I have a [00:04:00] podcast all about being the birthday martyr in that, that, that transition.

Um, not on ful volume, but on my, my previous podcast, uh, your Bold Life. Um, so I'm not gonna go into that, but this is all, this is all there. Then we have the fact that, uh, the 28th was the first anniversary of what I called my dad's rebirth. Um, so, uh, last year in January, he should have died yet again for.

Um, and, and, and I say this jokingly, but you know, my dad's a Vietnam vet. He should have died twice in Vietnam and didn't, um, there's, uh, one of the battles he was in, you can, you can read about it online. I could even post it to you if you want to converse with me. I'm not gonna put it in the show notes, but if you wanted to converse with me privately, um, we could totally do that.

But, um, you know, he, he should have died twice over there before I was even born. He should have died twice here. He almost bled [00:05:00] out from ulcers and then here he is, had a heart attack. So, you know, I don't take it lightly, however, um, it's, it's just, it's just something that you have to roll with of, yeah, a Harry is again, you know, beaten death.

Um, but, but it is in my face since he's gonna be 75 in May. You know, it. I am super thankful for all of the days that I've gotten with him since. Right. Um, and that's how we have addressed it. You know, I was, I was thankful for the other days as well, but now it's like, you know, with his age and, and, uh, the fact that he didn't need to do the surgery and blah, blah, you're getting a lot of information.

Right. Um, the fact that he did choose to do one of the most painful surgeries, you can get open heart surgery, you know, full, full meal deal there. Uh, Bypass. Um, I was thankful for that. Right? So I have been thankful. So of course it's like, [00:06:00] ugh, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm in knit. I am in knit right now with, with the personal emotions.

You know, this, this year, a year ago, I wasn't getting anything done. Nothing done. I gave myself Grace and I just went, you know what? I can't, you know, with Covid we couldn't even go see him. So I didn't see him for over a week. Um, I don't think I saw him for over two weeks because I wanted to make sure I wasn't bringing anything to him, even when he got home, um, from and was recovering.

Uh, so it was, it was. a lot, right? That's a lot. And we deal with, um, the loss of my father-in-law. That's a lot. And we deal with, here's Val, I'm gonna be turning 50 and I'm not doing the whole shit. Um, what am I doing with my life? I'm doing the wow, just, wow, I'm gonna be 50. How the hell is that even possible?

I do not even know. Um, you know, age is absolutely a [00:07:00] number. My parents have always. Been that way as well. Uh, it's just totally this, just this weird number to me that it's like 50. What are you talking about? I'm still, you know, my husband and I are still those stupid 17 and 18 year olds. How can that be?

That's just crazy weird. Um, and, and looking back over the last decade and everything that I've learned, that's just all of that stuff, right? Let alone. Business is awesome and I'm going to have to be making decisions with my time. I, you know, it's the, we only have so much time, and we definitely only have ti so much time that we're productive.

So I'm having to look at things and go, wow. I'm overwhelmed right now. I am just going to say it. I am overwhelmed right now. I have a lot of stuff on my plate [00:08:00] because I am going to be offline for eight days. Uh, . That means I have to get everything done before I leave, so my brain's just going. My brain is trying to tell me that I have too much to do and it's trying to say.

We don't have time to get everything done and we'll never get everything done. And then it just starts building the anxiety starts. Uh, in fact, uh, after my shower, I did not put my c d b pa, c b d patch on. That would probably help me a little bit, but my brain just wants to go screw everything. We're not doing anything.

You don't have to do anything. It's okay. It's okay, let's just go sit down. Let's just go and binge watch, uh, bling Empire New York. Cuz that just launched, um, , I think on, on episode three. Yeah, I did, I indulged in that because my, so it [00:09:00] took me three hours to write an email. Right. And now I'm in my office. I got my butt up and I'm like, okay, we're gonna have to put our big girl panties on and we're gonna have to go make things.

Because my brain's just like, there's too much to do. There's too much to do, there's too much to do, there's too much to do. And it's just like repeating that over and over again. Um, it's almost going into we don't know what to do. There's so much to do, we don't know what to do, and that's bullshit. I do know what to do and I do know how to break down my list and, and just start with the small stuff.

Hence why I knew that I had to sit down and I had to record. I'm like, what am I gonna do? Put it off for tomorrow when I have five sessions of Zoom? Is that gonna be more energy or am I gonna put it off until Wednesday? And then my team that does my podcast for. I'm inconveniencing them and changing [00:10:00] their schedule.

That's rude. No. So I had to put my boss hat on and just tell myself, this is what you have to get done. Go do this. And then we were going to sit down with the post-it note and we're gonna write down the next thing and the next thing and the next thing. Three things. Val, you know better. I do know better.

I know that I did not do my planning on Friday. I worked over the weekend and I didn't do any planning yesterday, so I'm recording on Monday. Um, I didn't do any planning yesterday of, okay, these are the three things that you're gonna get done. You know what happens when I do that? What happens when you don't plan?

Is it the same boat? Same boat? Are you in the same boat with me? Because I'm sitting here going ba. as if I don't know what needs to get done, and that's [00:11:00] ridiculous. I do know what needs to get done. Now, part of this overwhelm that I wanted to talk about is it, it really happened last week. I had somebody hit me up, ask me questions about something, and so then I immediately went to my site to go update sales page, update system, update this update.

I had a sale of an older, older workshop that had not been updated, and so I sat down on that after that sale went through and went, oh my God, this, this, this. I mean, I had to go in just, and I'm saying this is how my brain said I had to go in and I had to go update the sales page, update the access page, update the autoresponders, go change codes for the up sale that was in there.

Change the wording on all of the stuff. So that was two things right there that were not on my list. Now, are you like [00:12:00] me and you like to do this to cause chaos in your life?

Is it better that those things got done potentially. Did they matter in the scheme of what I want done in the next week and a half? No. That is my brain trying to cause chaos and add more shit to my plate so that I can prove, look at, I had too much to get done and I didn't do all of this, and I suck in.

I let people down and this is what I. . That is my brain self sabotaging. So again, this is why I knew I had to come on. Here I am in the middle of self sabotage and what a better time to talk to you about it than when I'm in the midst of it. [00:13:00] It's my go-to. It's something I do work on. It's something that I see the flag.

So much quicker than I have ever seen them before. Um, but it's still a go-to, so that means I have to deal with it. And the major way that I deal with it is I, I definitely. Pull out the Post-It notes and go through the list on there. What are my top priorities? What are my money tasks? What needs to happen to get me back on track?

You know, like getting my email out, getting my ass off the couch and not watching Bling Empire New York audition, . I had to get up and and move cuz I don't want to sit there for another three hours and do one more email. Um, , [00:14:00] that would be a complete waste of energy and time. If I'm going to just go and watch Bling Empire, then I, then I should just do some work and go and just sit and enjoy it and watch it and not.

Not pretend that I'm gonna work at the same time. I know better than that. I absolutely know better than that, but I like to, I like to pretend and tell my brain, oh, just sit here and work. My brain's like, yeah, we'll do that. We will absolutely do that. We can do that. Sit down, let's watch tv. What else should we watch?

Um, instead of like, okay, let's just get all of this stuff done. Get it done in a few hours and then we can go and enjoy it and not even have to have the laptop in our lab. So I am aware self sabotage mode is engaged. I am, uh, Not going to let it continue. I'm going to take control. I'm going to [00:15:00] make my list.

Like I said, I know what has to happen in the next. Um, well, I will be working over the weekend again, but, uh, over the next, uh, eight days. Do I have eight days, eight days till I leave? Um, I am working that morning of the first before we get on the plane, but, um, not, not very much. Uh, so I do know what needs to happen and I do know that I can get it done.

I can get everything done That has to happen that I want to happen, but I have to prioritize that. I have to pay attention to where I'm allowing myself to just go waste time. So that. I don't know. I don't even know on this part. I would probably have to bring somebody in to analyze it for me. Um, but, you know, the, the overwhelm and, and just creating the crap so that I'm like, Ugh, look it, here's Val again, not getting her shit [00:16:00] done.

Um, Val does get her shit done. Uh, but . But that's an old story that I like, I like to go back to, and I don't want that old story again. So pay attention. What are you doing? How are you sabotaging yourself? Um, is it procrastination? We, we like to label it all sorts of different things. Procrastination, uh, self-sabotage.

Uh, that's just the bullshit that we tell ourselves. Bullshit that we're telling ourselves. And sometimes it's, it's not even that you're like hearing the sentences. Okay. So telling ourselves, for me, used to, I used to just assume that everybody was like, they really did have a voice on their head that said, Hey, let's just go and do this.

I just assumed that's. What telling yourself meant? Um, that I'm like, well, but I [00:17:00] don't do that. I don't ever hear that . So it's, it's not so cut and dried for me at least. I don't know, maybe it is for you. Um, leave me a message if it is, that'd be cool. Let's have, let's talk about it. Uh, but for me it's more of just a, you know, like, just a, ah, it's.

Kind of thing. You know, I'm, I'm, I'm like, I'm gonna go and do that. Thinking to myself, okay, well I'm gonna sit down, I'm gonna do this. And just like ignoring the voice in my head, really saying, girl, you know, you can't, you know, you're not gonna sit and do that. You are lying to yourself if you say that you are going to sit here and get that done and watch this at the same time.

Um, so how are you? , are you overwhelmed? Are you sabotaging? I know it's not just me, and this is another reason why I had to come on here. I've got a few people and it's very easy for me to coach right now while I'm in it because other people are in it as well. So I can [00:18:00] pinpoint and go, okay, I'm seeing this flag.

This is something that I do, I find myself doing. Um, and can, can you take a look at. and see what's going on for you in that regard. What, what do you feel when you look at that ? You know, let's type this out, or let's talk this out. What are you feeling when you look at that? What's the vibe you're getting?

Why do you think that is happening? You know what? Work through it. All right, so, . I hope if you have been feeling overwhelmed and I know quite a few people, I don't know, we'll just keep talking. I swear to God, anytime anything is going wrong, it's like every three weeks we're in Mercury retrograde. It's like, come on people.

I get it and I'm a Woo. But we also need to take some fucking responsibility for our. [00:19:00] We can't just blame everything on the moon, on the stars, on other things. It's shit that we are bringing upon ourselves. That's part of the woo. We're bringing in more of what we are creating. So let. Work on not creating the overwhelm and not self-sabotaging

Anybody that glue is laughing at me. It's like you can't use the word not . The universe doesn't hear words, the not not know all of that. So we need to create what we want, which is what I'm gonna do. This is why I am here talking to you. We're recording right now. I will create what I want more of. Podcast is always a priority.

[00:20:00] Love, love, love making sure that the podcast gets out. I will sit down and I will look at my list. I have a lot of stuff done, so what has to get done today and what can I get done in the next couple of hours? Still have two hours.

So take a look at where you're feeling overwhelmed. How big is your list right now? Have you, has your list just become this ginormous brainstorming glop of, of information that you could possibly do with if you had every minute in the next 24 years to complete it? . Talking from experience. I've got a giant normous brainstorm list going on that's sitting here staring at me.

Um, multiple lists, still sitting here, staring at me that need it, needs to get moved over to my brainstorm area, so it's just out of, out of my face. So I know that [00:21:00] that's part of creating my own God chaos. It's having all of li these lists going, oh my God, look at all the things we have to do. We have to do all of this.

And I don't. Most of the stuff on these lists is for later. Not for, not for today, not for tomorrow, not for my next week. So look at how you're, you're assisting the chaos in your life. Look at how you are assisting the procrastination in your life.

I'm all for the binge watching of. Movies and tv, which I wanna do tonight, uh, after hubby gets home and we're gonna make some homemade pizzas, , I'm, I'm all up for that. Um, I just don't want the other stuff on my brain or to pretend that I, I want to be fully there. I should say. That's what I need to, I want to be, I want to be fully working on my business, or I want to be fully not working on my business.

And that's when I'm my, that's [00:22:00] when I'm at my. It's probably when you're at your best too, is when you get to just fully dis, fully be connected in one or the other. Yeah. We're thinking about other stuff. Of course. You know, when I'm not working on my business, I am still thinking business, but I like the fact that I don't feel like I have to go and do stuff when I'm, when I'm not working.

So that's what I'm gonna lean into. And the memory. Memory, I don't think it's the memory, the , the knowledge. That when I get all of my to-do list done, I'm gonna enjoy eight days of not being online. That's crazy. Crazy. So this will be the last episode before I head out of town for my birthday going to Vegas.

I'm going to rock the hill out of turning 50, going to the Pro Bowl. So definitely follow me on Instagram if you are not [00:23:00] already, cuz I am sure I will be posting up a storm there as we eat our way. Wait, , as we eat our way all over the place, we're definitely gonna go hit up a bunch of funky joints. Um, Vegas is one of our favorite places we don't gamble, but there's just so much to do and so much people watching.

And Pro Bowl, did I say the Pro Bowl? Did I mention we're going to the Pro Bowl? Um, I love football. I'm. Wack job. Um, . I'm a football crazy girl. Um, mob Museum, neon Museum. So much. We've got so much planned. Um, and you're definitely going to want to check it out because I am excited for the room that we got downtown.

So I cannot believe, cannot believe. Last episode in my forties. That's so weird. So weird. I wanna be totally be an old lady here soon. , [00:24:00] officially like a number says so anyways. All right, thanks for being here. I hope that you are not in overwhelmed self-sabotage procrastination mode, but if you are, please just grab a post-it note and write down your three most important.

that need to get done today and that you have time to do so. Don't put down three things that you cannot possibly get done today. Put down three things that you know, I call 'em must dos. Three things that must get done today and you have the time to do it and you will commit to doing it. I'll leave you with that.

Alright, I will chat at you later. Bye.