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Hey, it's time to crank up the truth! I'm Val Selby. And over the decades of working online, I've learned a most important lesson. Mindset owns your business. It procrastination, imposter syndrome and a lack of focus have been blocking your biz. And I'm here with powerful volume ready to help you see choices that you're making. Get ready to own your personality, and use your expertise to create the business of your dreams. Now is the time to make changes and live your best life. So let's get to it!

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Hello, hello, hello, hello, I'm so happy you are here. For me to chat with you today. It was a crazy four day weekend, I just had a long, crazy four day weekend. It was when that I honestly I had not. I hadn't had a lot of negative thoughts coming into it. And I knew it was going to be busy. I knew I had taken on a project that was going to add extra stuff to my life.

1:17  
And yet, it was something that I knew I wanted to do. But it was a four-day convention. Well, actually, it's probably more like a two and a half-day convention. But you know, you got travel time in there. So all total, I was gone for four days. And I swear stuff like that is never going to happen. When it's not a busy time in your life. Right? I swear, that's always the case. So we've had a whole bunch of stuff going on at Bundle Bash, we have a whole bunch of stuff we just talked about on that Wednesday, of okay, we're gonna do this, this and this. And these are the dates that we are going to get them done by and then Thursday, I have my mastermind meeting in the morning and then head out of town. And thankfully, I did have a little bit of downtime, but it was still, it was still all day, you know, for each of those days. And I am aware when I have that happen that I have low energy when I come back, and I'm recording in the whole energy. And I don't like to do that. But it was a necessity today. So usually I would book today on my schedule and be like, Okay, we have to like, ease back in, right? I know, I have to ease back in and set myself up for success. Let's look at my list and like go, Okay, what's the the brain dead stuff I can do. And I did do that there was just a lot of stuff on there that I wanted to get done this morning. And I'm happy to report I have almost all of that done. But it's just like my brain shuts off. I was doing weird stuff like emailing people back about an upcoming bundle. And I'm emailing them and I used the wrong name in somebody's and it wasn't a copy paste thing. I really did just use the wrong name. And I'm like, Oh, my gosh, how in the world did I even get that screwed up? I have no idea what in the world is happening. So, low energy days like that when I have to come back and recoup. Very good to note, definitely don't make those a tech day.

3:18  
Which was what I jokingly, not jokingly, which is what I joked with her about when I sent reply email and told her out, you know, I'm sorry.

3:28  
I'm sorry, I'm an idiot. I don't know where my brain went.

3:32  
But obviously, I was taking that as the side not to do any the tech stuff.

3:37  
Because if I could mess up something that easy, what in the world would my brain do with something techie. So I'm, I have my lowered list, I have my lowered expectations, which means that by the end of today, I will have a successful day. But one of the things I did want to talk about was part of my negative thoughts going into the weekend, were the fact that I was going to get out of my comfort zone.

4:04  
Gosh, I crave doing more live stuff. I really crave doing it. However, it's been so many years now that my brain is just like

4:14  
it's it's pretty safe here. And we can just do Zoom all the time. And

4:23  
and it's just safer. Let's do it this way. So that was part of my battle over the weekend, or coming into the weekend, I should say it actually did end up being a little of a battle during the weekend as well. But again, this was the first time why I sound like I'm being mysterious or something so, so I am part of GFWC. And so GFWC Washington State we had their convention. So as of this one, that'd be a little over a week ago now by the time you you listen to this one. Our president sent out an email to all of us

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chairwomen, and, you know, club presidents and all of that, about this idea that she wanted to do and tell the stories. Now, our group, gosh, most volunteer groups are, are falling into the same issue. Our group has mostly 70, 80 and 90 year old women in it. As with everything, we are having a heck of a time finding new volunteers to come in. And a younger generation, you know, I'm always the baby there. And I just turned 50. I mean, like the baby. So there was threefold for why we wanted to get the stories, right. For one, we love these women, and we want their stories, we want these stories, so we can always remember them so we can cherish them, the amount of good that they have done in the world, we just don't want to forget it. Because they don't even know. And my face just lit up just even saying that. So we wanted to do this, she wanted to do the stories. And as soon as the email went out, I hit her up, because I'm just like, oh my gosh, and I'm like, I'm your girl.

6:04  
I create online courses. So I'm used to doing video, I'm like, I run a podcast. I'm like, let's do this, let's, let's work on getting more into the digital age. So I was nervous. Because we're having conversation face to face. I didn't know how my tech was going to work at the hotel, because I didn't know how their internet was going to work. I couldn't land a ton of it until I got there. And finally I just decided, You know what, we're just going to do this. And whatever is going to come out is going to come out, it's all going to be great. Doesn't matter. They're not looking for professional, I don't need it to look professional. We just want the stories. And as soon as I let that go,

6:59  
that made my weekend so much better. So letting go on it needed to be professional, it not going to look like a TV show, you know what I mean? It's like, it's like, oh, my gosh, these women are going to have expectations. It's like, no, they don't have expectations. In fact, you know what ended up happening. So many of these women were out of their comfort zone talking about themselves. They do not care what any of it was any, any of the rest of it, not a single speck of any of it mattered, because they were very out of their comfort zone talking about themselves. And the more I realized that, the easier it was for me. So I am highly aware that it's my zone of genius to make people feel comfortable. And talk. I mean, even over the weekend when they were when all the sudden they're like, oh my gosh, you made that so easy. I'm like, thank you. I know.

7:57  
Like, I'm like and I was I really just leaned into that. Thank you. I know. Yes, it is my zone of genius. I can make you talk forever and ever and ever about everything. And you won't even realize it.

8:13  
And it was so much fun because I got so many stories and laughing. And we got videos and crying. I mean,

8:22  
I was teared up as I got to know these women so much. And you know what happened over the weekend when I got out of my comfort zone? And when they got out of their comfort zone? Like I said, I just totally bonded with these women with a good core group of these women by listening to their stories and talking with them about their stories. And that only happened because I got out of my comfort zone. I mean, it was easy for me to first send that email and say, oh my gosh, yes, I will do this. Let's do this. And that. And then as it started getting closer and closer, you know what happens to deadlines, right? You, you set deadlines that are out of your comfort zone. And as it gets closer, you're like, Oh my God, why did I decide to do this? Why did I do this? Good grief. I don't even want to go now. I should get sick or something. You know what I mean? How do I get out?

9:10  
It's like, no, we're not getting out of this. We are going to do this. So I don't have the videos and stuff up yet because this week is going to be all about work. I'm going to start working on them. Next week actually, when this airs, I will start figuring out how I'm going to get it set up with YouTube and all of that and

9:28  
the videos are are going to be not so great quality because the lighting in the conference room we were using was absolutely horrendous.

9:38  
So again, I'm not going to worry about it. I am going to put it together to the best of my abilities and the stories are going to get out there. And I love talking to the group of, of, gosh, I think we had 33 women there for the convention. You know standing up front and telling them you know I want to record I still want to record even

10:00  
After this weekend, you know, let's let's get on conversation. And let's tell your story, it doesn't have to end this weekend. So I am excited that that project is gonna keep on going and using my gift for gab for yet another awesome purpose. And stepping out of my comfort zone, I applaud myself for stepping out of my comfort zone, because if I had it, I would not have bonded with these women like I did. So. So all of that.

10:28  
comfort zones change doesn't happen unless you're out of your comfort zone, new things can't come forward, unless you're out of your comfort zone. And who knows where this will lead.

10:39  
Not worried about where it's going to lead, you know, we're putting it out there as

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another avenue for people to know what we do, and come and join us and come and hang out. And that can't happen unless somebody steps up and says, Okay, let's try this. Let's give this a try. Let's make it go out there. And I can professionalize stuff later down the road, I can do it better next time, there's always doing it better next time, right? You can always change it up, see what worked, didn't work and do it better next time. So comfort zones. I had that going for me. And then of course, there's the other thing with we had. So I was doing recordings with women, I think I did, or teen 15 over the course of just two days because I didn't do any on the last day.

11:35  
And that's draining, and I forget how draining that is. So so that was a draining. And then of course, being an empath, and we had speakers coming in. And we had one that was talking about refugee camps. And so she had a slideshow and pictures. And then we had another one with an he came in and was talking about the veterans organization that he runs there in, in the Tri Cities. And he was given stats, and I mean the stats for women veterans are just horrible in eat, we know this. We know this. I know this, I hope you are aware as well of how horrible the stats I you can understand why right? It's good ol boys mentality still, it's better, but it's still good old boys mentality. And besides going into combat, the female veterans actually have a worst time with the fact that

12:39  
many I was I would like to say most I think his stat said 40%. But knowing women in the military 40% for having been sexually assaulted, or sexually harassed, is an absolute bullshit number that's just reported. So these women come out of the military, with PTSD from that, usually, not necessarily from anything that they did or saw overseas. It's their experience in the military, unfortunately. So that drained me pulling in that that just absolutely drained me as well. So there was I'm learning how much drains me. And that it always has, I just ignored it and set it aside and really tried to push through, which is why I would crash every once in a while. So that's yet another reason when I come home from stuff, I have to reboot, I also have to reboot just from being around people that log I am not an introvert. I'm an ambivert. But being around people, a lot like that. It's just very draining for me.

13:47  
Where am I going with all of this comfort zones, I want you to pay attention to your comfort zone and where you're playing safe. And where you can push even just a little bit of a push is an amazing step in the right direction. Because you cannot change anything in your business or your life if you don't actually make some change. Otherwise, it's just the same thing over and over again. And you can do that if it's working for you. But if it's not working for you, you gotta make some change, and you got to step out. And oftentimes, it's the fact that you know, you need to and you want to do some changes that has you procrastinating has you move and something on your list that is huge and excites you and you're like, oh,

14:33  
and you move it aside, right? Just like I was saying, Well, I got to that point where I'm like, I think I would like to be sick right now and cancel. I don't want to go anymore. No, this is still weird. I don't want to do it. It's new. It's It's icky.

14:53  
But just do it. What happens if you just do it? What happens and a lot of the time

15:00  
I do pay attention to that, you know, I have had a worrywart as a mom all my life. And so when you sit and you like, look at it, and you're like, Okay, what is the worst it's gonna happen? And you break it down? What's the worst that could happen? I mean, like, be crazy about it be absolutely crazy. Like, I could do a recording. And it could sound like absolute garbage and get it onto YouTube. And somebody is just like, holy crap, take that down immediately, you made me look like shit. That's something that could be one of the worst things that could happen. Okay, let's take that idea. And then what would we do? We'd be like, Okay, I'm sorry that you don't like it and you take down the video? It would really just be that easy. Right? Okay. So that's a non existent issue. So we don't have to worry about that anymore. Because we would just say, okay, and take it down.

15:52  
You know, what could be what could be something else that would be worst case scenario, when I was when I was doing it this weekend, you know, I had to work through this garbage in my own head. I'm like, Okay, well, what could be the worst case scenario, okay, I'm sitting there with somebody, and they are not a good conversation. And I can't think of anything else to say with them. And I just know that this is going to be horrible. So what am I going to do? Because I wouldn't be able to post it. Can we just like, Well, if that did happen, then I could just send them an email or a text or a phone call, and say that the recording didn't come out. And I only want them to look their best. So it won't be going up. Problem solved. non-problem, right. non-problem. If that happened, then we already have, okay, well, that's what we'll do. It'd be no big deal.

16:45  
And you work through, but you work through all those worst case scenarios. And that does help get out of your comfort zone a little bit more when you when you go through, okay, what's the worst that can happen? And then hopefully, that leads you to not be procrastinating on it anymore, right? So often, I'm hearing I mean, we've been talking about emailing and lists for weeks now, right? off and on for weeks now. And a lot of people don't do it because they don't want to bug people they want they're going to you're just going to email once a week, right? Oh, God, please do not just email once a week, oh, my God was such a waste.

17:23  
That's a waste of your less they need to hear from you can't buy anything from you, if you are not telling them about it, and telling them who you are, and reminding them of why you're there and why they are there. They signed up for information from you. Give it to him. Anyways. So a lot of people will, will say, and this might be you as well, you don't want to bug them? Well. But what does that even mean? Isn't it just as bad to ignore them. Because if you ignore them, you're actually letting them down.

17:54  
The people that want to hear from you, if you are not emailing multiple times, multiple multiple times a month, then you're actually letting them down because they want to hear from you. Versus Giving a Single care about the person who doesn't want to hear from you. Because they don't remember they signed up for your list and they're unsubscribing. Who cares about them? I mean, see ya.

18:21  
If you're annoying them then bye. Bless you. Bye. If you need me, I'll be here, come on back. But that's not why your email, you're not emailing to those people that don't want to hear from you. You are emailing to the people that do want to hear from y'all. So don't ignore them. Because that's, that's, I mean, what's the worst that's gonna happen? If you start emailing multiple, multiple, multiple times a month? I mean, like I would, I would hope that you're, you're emailing multiple times a week, what's the worst is going to happen? Unsubscribe, maybe put a comment. And when they unsubscribe, maybe just send you an email

19:02  
or a reply. I've gotten angry emails before.

19:07  
It's okay. They don't hurt. Especially if you just pay attention to the fact that somebody's usually having a bad day. And they're gonna take it out on you. Nothing to do with that email. Usually, it's just like, the last straw.

19:21  
And they're like, Wow

19:25  
those are the only things that can happen. And all of them just come from. Okay, thank you. I will make sure your unsubscribed and that's it. No big deal. Or you don't even have to reply to them and just go make sure they're unsubscribed. You don't even have to reply. No big deal. Versus like I said, if you're not talking to people, then the people who want to hear from you are not getting the information. You're disappointing them. Don't disappoint them. Just talk to them. Even if it's a short email.

19:57  
Once you start writing the emails, they'll come faster, faster.

20:00  
And, and you'll realize because you'll start getting replies and seeing what people are opening and, and the only way you can figure out what they want is this by writing them more. Okay, so that could be part of what you get out of your comfort zone. I don't want to go too much longer on this. So I do just want you to get out of your comfort zone realize that you're probably procrastinating on stuff. The most common reason you procrastinate on stuff is because it's gonna put you out of your comfort zone. And while you want that, you want that goal. It's still your brain saying,

20:35  
little bit creepy. Let's just stay right here where it's comfortable. So you got to figure out what are you procrastinating on? And how can you push out of your comfort zone? Hit me up. I'd love to talk about it more. Let's get you out of your comfort zone. All right. Thanks for being here and go get out of your comfort zone. I'll chat at you next week.