Families can be a wonderful blessing, or they can be a major pain in the ass during the holidays. Frankly I've seen mine, be both at the same time. The stress of the Christmas season, combined with the fact that we see more of each other than during the rest of the year, can bring any tension and arguments to a boiling point.
So, let's look at ways that we can work on handling known issues. If you are going to a big family event and you know there has been tension it can really ruin your time with everyone else there. Don't let it cause you stress before you even get there.
Be Patient And Kind
‘Tis the season to be patient and kind. Make this your motto and you’ll enjoy a much more peaceful and relaxed holiday season this year. Remind yourself of this when things get hectic and stressful around Christmas.
I find that the simpler I keep things around the holidays, the easier it is to stay patient and kind. When we have too much on our plate, we get stressed out and irritable. I don’t have to tell you that this leads to a short temper that may cause you to do something you regret later.
Going into the holidays with a goal of doing this will help those of you like me that can turn angry elf quickly. I find if I start out considering there will be issues and telling myself to stop giving a crap about things more than others do, I can keep my cool and be genuinely more patient and kind.
Walk Away If You Need To
Sometimes the best thing you can do is walk away. If a situation is stressing you out, or spiraling out of control, get yourself out of there. Go take a breather and come back when you can get back to being patient and kind.
Sometimes just going into a different room for a few minutes or taking a short walk outside will do the trick. At other times, you just need to leave before you get into an argument with a family member, and that’s ok. There are times when you’re better off getting out of there. If it’s the only thing that will make it possible for you or the people you care about to enjoy their Christmas, you do what you have to do.
NOW, what if you are hosting this get together? Walk into another room and ask someone more neutral to join you. If things are escalating and you know it will not improve, do not be afraid to ask someone to leave or have the neutral party do it if they are open to helping. It will be uncomfortable, but it is better than the fight progressing. Especially if alcohol is involved. Call that person a cab, uber or have another person take them home.
Postpone Arguments When Possible
The holidays only come around once a year. Bite your tongue if you need to and avoid arguments and fights as much as possible. You don’t have to give in, or bend over backwards for family members you don’t get along with. I am FOR SURE not saying that. I'd be a hypocrite if I told you to do that.
Think of it more as postponing the argument until after the holidays. Enjoy the time with your loved ones… even the ones who are a little more challenging to love than others.
One last thing to keep in mind when you’re struggling with squabbles and fights around the holidays. This is a special time of the year and something you can’t get back. Try to put bad feelings aside and celebrate this special time with your family and friends.
Remember, happiness is a choice. Live with no regrets,
PS – We create the holidays we get and I invite you to make your holidays joyful and bright.
Check out how to create your most magical Unperfect Holidays EVER!